The Hulkster With a Tear-Jerking Tweet

Man. I’m not 10 years old anymore, so I didn’t watch any WrestleMania this year… but that photo is touching. I LOVED Andre the Giant.

andre-hulk

-bp

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“Do Me a Favor… Do Something Nice for Someone Else.”

marlins-fan

Love this. A wallet found at a Marlins game… returned to the owner. Oh, you thought it was awesome of me to return your wallet? Here it is with more cash than when you lost it. Complete mind-blower. Warms the ticker.

-bp

[via MLB Fan Cave]

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Yogi Berra’s Granddaughter is Awesome

So good.

-bp

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I Took Batting Practice at Petco Park

Lobshots batting practice

Not gonna lie… I had my sights set on going yard for batting practice. I know I can do it. I just know I can. Then I found out the pitching machine was set in the 60s, and I only got 10 pitches… then only 4 of those pitches were strikes. Tough to hit the longball in those conditions. Luckily, along with my buddy Dave, Jonny Dub from Gaslamp Ball was there too… and because JBox has a bum back, he filmed us. Here’s the video. Jon goes first… then me, at the :44 second mark.

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I took some okay cuts… definitely hit some hard line drives. You can see the last swing I take that the pitch is low and away but when you’ve only got 10 pitches, you hack at everything. Thought it was nice of Jonny Dub to say, in his write-up, “And I tell you what, Brady can really hit the crap out of a baseball.” Thanks, man. Also loved that drop from The Natural to close out the clip.

Until next time, Petco. Man I hope there’s a next time.

bp-lobshots-petco-park

Oh, I also shagged balls and played catch* in the outfield. Good times.

-bp

*that’s a Shipwrecked Double IPA from Mission Brewery, 9.25 ABV, nbd. 

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¡Olé! Fernando

fernandovalenzuela

[editor's note: against my better judgment, I let Rick Romero write another blog... because this is an amazing story. - bp]

Since the Padres opened up the season against the Dodgers, I figured now would be the perfect time to tell my Fernando Valenzuela story. Yes, I run a baseball blog (www.rjsfro.com) and this story is baseball related, but I’d never allow a dirty Dodger story to appear at RJ’s Fro. And since BP has no standards here at LobShots, I figured it was the perfect fit.

It is a very rare occurrence where I don’t completely dislike a Dodger. In fact you can probably count those guys on one hand. As a Padre fan I am trained to hate everything blue (ahem… http://bringbackthebrown.com/). Back when I was a baby, my grandma, who is a Dodger fan, bought me a Dodgers onesie. I immediately pooped in it.

However one of those players on my very short list is the Mighty Fernando. A 6 time All-Star, a 1 time Cy Young award winner and the 1981 Rookie of the Year, Valenzuela spent the majority of his career with the Dodgers. Why does he make my short list? Spending 3 seasons in San Diego(1995-1997) definitely helped, but there is another reason. The somewhat pudgy appearance, odd windup and professional demeanor also helped. But that’s still not the main reason.

Back during the Fernandomania days my great uncle, Lalo Guerrero, recorded a 2 song album about Valenzuela that was sold at Dodger Stadium. I had the record as a kid and listened to it quite a bit. Here are the songs:

¡Olé! Fernando

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Fernando, El Toro

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Both those songs were featured in the ESPN 30 for 30: Fernando Nation. Lalo was considered the Father of Chicano music and won numerous awards in his career, including being declared a National Folk Treasure by the Smithsonian, the National Medal of Arts and the National Heritage award. He made people laugh with his parody songs, entertained children with his Las Ardillitas (the Latin-American version of Alvin and the Chipmunks), wrote some amazing ballads and in his most impressive feat, somehow made a life long Padre fan actually like a Dodger.

-Rick

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Navy Leap Frogs Into Petco Park… Amazing Footage

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So awesome!

-bp

 

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Anna Kendrick & Pharrell on SNL: Match Made in Heaven

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Excited for this. Love Anna Kendrick. Love Pharrell.

-bp

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When You Leave the Red Sox for the Yankees, Fan Signs Follow

jacoby

I bet she also thinks Jacoby Ellsbury is a traitor.

-bp

[from Busted Coverage]

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The Padres Twitter Mirror…

I took batting practice at Petco Park last night… this is the twitter mirror photo I snapped before I took my hacks. Pretty cool to get my ugly mug tweeted by the @Padres official account.

-bp

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An Annual Tradition: 2014 MLB Predictions

zoltar

[editor's note: This is an entry from a friend of mine, Dallas McLaughlin. In addition to writing, he does stand-up comedy, and other neat things. I asked him to give you lobsters a glimpse of what the 2014 baseball season has to offer. He hates that I'm funnier than he is. - bp]

We’re a day in to the 2014 MLB season, or three days in, or six days? Or, we just started! Either way it’s time for my Annual Major League Baseball Predictions! I skipped writing last year’s predictions in favor of devoting my time writing what scholars will one day refer to as a “A lost cause”, so this year I made sure to do actual research! Well, maybe. Not really. I didn’t do any research. I’ve been watching House of Cards, and I’ll tell you – every episode gets a little bit worse.

As always the picks are real, however the analysis is almost more than real. Like when you look deep inside yourself and see the better version of you that you’ll never actually achieve: A cross between religion and a Matthew McConaughey speech.

I start with Ban Johnson’s American League Baseball Winners:

*denotes division winner

AL WEST:

OAKLAND A’s*: Finish with the best record in the American League and celebrate by losing in the first round of the playoffs; they then trade Josh Donaldson, Sonny Gray, A.J. Griffin, Yoenis Cespedes, and Jim Johnson in the offseason.

HOUSTON ASTROS: Try to switch leagues one more time, but are denied and sent to the Canadian Football League, where they sign Tim Tebow, and lose every single game they play.

TEXAS RANGERS: Prince Fielder gets confused and is under the impression he’s an actual Ranger with a badge and gun. No one corrects him, and he finishes the season with 45 homeruns and 22 arrests. Sadly, Ron Washington was shot and killed during a raid in his own apartment.

SEATTLE MARINERS: Are really doing it, guys!

LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF LA MIRADA EARTHQUAKES: Josh Hamilton gets Albert Pujols hooked on crack, and the two go on a bender like Anaheim has never known. Lives are lost, freeways are burned; and it all ends a week later when Pujols stands atop the Matterhorn holding Hamilton’s body in the air and screaming the lyrics to Katy Perry’s “Roar”.

 

AL CENTRAL:

MINNESOTA TWINS: Surprise everyone when they win 53 games by the all-star break. They go on to lose the next 50, and move the franchise directly into the lake.

CHICAGO WHITE SOX: Make some huge moves before the trade deadline, which ultimately results in a 4th place finish. No one cares, as Paul Konerko sheds a single tear into Jose Abreu’s batting gloves.

KANSAS CITY ROYALS: Write an apology to James Shields for ruining his career, and force the entire team to sign it. The only hold out is Norichika Aoki who is waiting for a letter of his own.

DETROIT TIGERS*: In a bold move the team signs Miguel Cabrera to a 20-year $500 million dollar deal, and the rights to his first-born child. Bob Costas proclaims the signing as the decline of Western Civilization, while the Player’s Union calls it destiny.

CLEVELAND INDIANS: It seems like every year I make a Major League reference and no one cares. Whatever. You make my heart sing. Is that you Tolbert? You may run like Mays, but you hit like shit. Alright, I’m done. Terry Francona is awesome in the Michael Jordan baseball documentary.

 

AL EAST:

TORONTO BLUE JAYS: Run a magnificent ‘Ten Year Anniversary’ ad campaign about the ’94 strike. Joe Carter shows up to sign autographs, but when he realizes he won’t be getting paid to do them he sits outside the stadium holding a “Shame on the Blue Jays” sign and eating poutine.

TAMPA BAY RAYS*: Release all their players, replacing them with nothing but guys from Triple-A, and still make it to the World Series. John Madden eats Joe Maddon in a terrible hunting accident.

NEW YORK YANKEES: Force A-Rod to drive Jeter around for the entire season to teach him what a pro acts like. Every night A-Rod looks in the rear view mirror, sees Jeter making out with another girl from The CW, and wonders what might have been. Brain Cashman wears a t-shirt that says ‘I’m Dead Inside’.

BOSTON RED SOX: Celebrate their World Series victory by losing 90 games and throw David Ortiz under the bus. Claiming he pops pills and kills cats. They also claim Ortiz is a clubhouse cancer, and has tried to actually give the clubhouse cancer, and that he doesn’t understand English very well. They then sign him to a 3-year extension. #bostonstrong

BALTIMORE ORIOLES: Are just soooooooo close, you guys.

AL WILD CARDS: Red Sox and Indians

AL WINNER: Tigers

 

Now on to William Hulbert’s National League of Champion Legends:

NL WEST:

LOS ANGELES DODGERS OF ANAHEIM*: Try to create some sort of a team “thing” by forcing everyone to grow Brian Wilson size beards. Yasiel Puig forces a trade before he’ll publicly admit he can’t grow facial hair. Carl Crawford is placed on the 60-day DL with a chin sprain.

COLORADO ROCKIES: Are still a professional Baseball team. Todd Helton feels nothing.

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS: Kevin Towers trades anyone who hits over 20 homeruns for mid level relief pitchers. When they finish in 4th place, Towers gets fired, and then somehow rehired. SOMEHOW!

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS: When Tim Lincecum finally shaves his junior high moustache, the team goes on a four game winning streak, and loses the 5th game when Tim Lincecum still has to pitch in said game. Barry Zito is still alive, lurking, waiting, plotting…

SAN DIEGO PADRES: Buy stock in the words “Tommy John Surgery”, which enables them to raise payroll to $350 million. They use that extra money to put more craft brew stands, fish taco stands, and other things that have nothing to do with a winning baseball team into Petco. Yay.

 

NL CENTRAL:

CHICAGO CUBS: Ugh. I mean…CAN THEY JUST TRY TO NOT BE PATHETIC…FOR ONCE?! Come on, guys. Bartman. Do it. Do the Bartman.

CINCINNATTI REDS*: Aroldis Chapman gets robot parts surgically implanted into his face giving him RoboCop-esque powers. He can now throw 200mph, but also ends up slicing in half anything or anyone who gets in his way. It’s a bloody path to the World Series, but they do get there. Oh, they get there. Dear God, the horror.

PITTSBURGH PIRATES: Remember when they were so good last year?

MILUAKEE BREWERS: Ryan Braun once again gets suspended for steroids. His defense: “Can’t you see that they make me better?!” He’s right, and the brew crew loses 100 games. Aramis Rameriz celebrates his 49th birthday with a strikeout.

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS: Once again do really good, and it makes no sense how they pulled it off, and Mike Matheny, and blah blah blah. They’re like the Spurs of Baseball. Booooring.

 

NL EAST:

ATLANTA BRAVES*: This is year Jason Heyward finally puts it all together, and in other news WE FOUND THE MALAYSIAN PLANE!!!

WASHINGTON NATIONALS: Jayson Werth and Bryce Harper take a week leave from the team and go to The Gathering of the Juggalos. While they’re there they start a Vape company called Two Broz Vape, a clothing company called HAVOK Industries, and marry each other.

MIAMI MARLINS: Are still a Baseball team. Todd Helton feels nothing.

NEW YORK METS: Take all the money they made from Citi Field and buy Curtis Granderson, Chris Young, and Bartolo Colon. This causes a dip in ticket sales, fan support, success, and wins. Somewhere Casey Stengel raises his hands in the air and thanks the Lord he took him when he did.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: Subway sponsors the entire team turning the Phillie Phanatic into a life-size $5 meatball sub. Every time Ryan Howard hits a homerun the Phanatic douses the crowd in grated parmesan cheese. They finish with the worst record in Baseball, while Chase Utley gains 40 pounds.

NL WILDCARDS: Padres and Nationals

NL CHAMPS: Reds

WORLD SERIES CHAMPS: Tigers

That’s how I see it playing out, folks! I could be wrong, I could be right. If I’m right you owe me a coke. Not coke though. I don’t do cocaine. I save that for Doc Gooden. Yea, that’s right. I finish this with a joke from the 80’s. Thems the breaks. HAPPY OPENING WEEK EVERYBODY! GO PADS!

-Dallas

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