Unreal. What a freak.

-bp

[via @NickiJhabvala]

This video I’m about to post is an absolute must-watch for all Padres fans… all baseball fans. Nothing fascinates me more than the unwritten rules of baseball. A debate that has led to fist fights for a century. I just love it. What are the unwritten rules? Does everybody agree on them? The answer is most certainly no. Love that Marty Caswell from the Mighty 1090 went around asking the Padres clubhouse this question. I’ll summarize what the Padres said was the most important unwritten rule, along with my small commentary.

You must watch the part with Dave Roberts, Luke Gregerson, and Chris Denorfia. So freaking fascinating. I’ll break it down at the bottom of this post.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yonder Alonso: “Don’t show up your teammates.” This one gets broken all the time.

Chase Headley: “Don’t show up the other team… like, stealing when you’re up by 6 or 7 late in the game, or over-swinging when you’re up big.” First time I’d ever heard a player talk about “over-swinging” late in a game when you have a big lead. Interesting.

Cam Maybin: “I am really drawing a blank here… Ok, never bunt in the 9th inning of a no-hitter.” Maybin legitimately struggled to answer this question… made me laugh.

Casey Kelly: “Wear shower shoes in the shower.” That’s important? C’mon Casey. Do better.

The Norf: “Don’t show anybody up on the field.” A common one.

Luke Gregerson: “Pass, I have no clue… I just play the game.” Weak.

Joe Thatcher: “Pass… it’s unwritten… can’t talk about it.” Weak.

The Jerk: “Don’t steal, don’t bunt when you’re up by a lot of runs.” No brainer.

Huston Street: “Don’t show up an umpire…. no sliding spikes up… gotta get a base hit to break up a no hitter (no bunts). What I’d like to see changed… don’t get too excited when you do something you’re supposed to do.” Players show up umps ALL THE TIME. I do love the last part though. Do your job, you clowns, don’t celebrate like a 1o year old.

Jason Marquis: “Anything that goes on in the clubhouse should stay in the clubhouse.” The clubhouse is Vegas… got it.

Nick Hundley: “When you slide, keeping your spikes down.” Hunds never did like Ty Cobb.

Will Venable: “Run the ball out. Run hard.” I’ve seen Will jog.

Buddy Black: “Don’t ever think you’ve got it all figured out.” Humble thyself. Good answer, Bud.

John Baker: “You don’t steal second base if you are up by more runs than there are outs left in the game. Don’t watch a home run for too long. Don’t show up the other team. If you don’t do that, you really don’t break any other rules.” LOVE that Baker actually has a mathematical equation for when it’s okay to steal second. Phenomenal.

Mark Kotsay: “Every single unwritten rule that you’ve heard…. has been broken” No crap. Thanks, Mark.

Okay…the 4:24 mark, this is where it really gets good. Dave Roberts sets up a scenario. He wants the perspectives from the batter and the pitcher. Love this. It’s 8-0 in the eighth inning, Padres are winning. Norf is up to bat, the count is 3-0. Normally, you don’t swing, right? Well, in Dave Roberts’ scenario, Norf has a HR, a triple, and a double. He needs a single for the cycle… a feat that the Padres have never completely as an organization.

So, what does the hitter do? Swing away or take the pitch? Both Gregerson and Norf say swing away… because the cycle is on the line. HOWEVER, Gregerson points out that if you hit a gapper that would be an easy double, you better run it out, don’t you dare stand on first base to lock up the cycle. You run out the double. If you don’t, that’s worse than swinging away, way worse. Norf agrees, and drops a gem, “You might have to wear one“. I love that so much.

You go for the cycle, yes. But you do so knowing your ass is gonna get pelted next time you come to the plate. I freaking love this game. Norf also agreed you can’t just stop at first, so that’s not just coming from a pitchers perspective.

So fascinating. I watched that Dave Roberts breakdown 4 times. I just loved it. So, do you agree with the Padres on the unwritten rules? The debate continues…

-bp

So, Darren Smith, the impressive afternoon radio host at The Mighty 1090 went on vacation for a few days. He doesn’t tweet on vacation. Craig Elsten filled in for Darren while he was gone. Turns out some people don’t pay attention to the details. Darren got a tweet, saying his show was cancelled. He, obviously, thought that was funny, so he RT’d it.

Well, when you’ve got 5,600+ followers, and you haven’t tweeted in a week, and you haven’t been on the air… people might just jump to conclusions… and jump they did.

@dsmithshow Wtf? You got canceled?

— geapetto, florentini (@gpettooh) May 24, 2013

Wait, is this true?! RT @mariomann@dsmithshow I’m sorry your show got cancelled CC: @sdradio @lobshots

— Chris Dunn (@dunnright00) May 24, 2013

What!?!?!?!?!!RT @mariomann: @dsmithshow I’m sorry your show got cancelled

— TLDN (@tldn) May 24, 2013

Did the @dsmithshow show really get cancelled?

— Jason Rodriguez (@JROD56) May 24, 2013

“@mariomann: @dsmithshow I’m sorry your show got cancelled” did it? Oh man… did it have anything to do with Marty’s nagging about no Te’o?

— K1NGKU$H (@K1NGKUSH) May 24, 2013

I don’t think the Darren Smith show got cancelled

— John(@Friar_Faithful) May 24, 2013

@martycaswell did you and darren smith quit the darren smith show?

— Mario Mann (@MarioMann) May 23, 2013

@martycaswell#the show, has the D. Smith show been cancelled?

— Alan Long` (@bigdaddy4you) May 24, 2013

Ah, the glorious twitter rumor mill. Love it. The Darren Smith has not been cancelled. He’ll be on air today at noon. Carry on.

-bp

How cool. I gotta think that this is the way every player would love to go out. One team, and a city that loves you. This Trib tribute is brilliant in its simplicity.

-bp

[via Paulie]

Graphics department: “Bryce Harper? How ’bout Bryce Hunter and we put him on the Tigers instead? Matt Harvey? Let make him Matt Jones… O’s instead of Mets. Manny Machado is now on the  White Sox. Mike Trout? Let’s put him on the Yankees, he’s gonna end up there anyway…”

Worst graphic ever. I have no clue if those stats are actually correct…

-bp

[h/t rovell]

Alright lady lobsters, now’s your time to shine here in San Diego. Fox Sports San Diego is hiring another lovely lady to join Katie and Nathalie. I’ve spent time with both of them and they’re very nice… please don’t hold that weird “h” in Nathalie’s name against her. Here are the details:

WHAT:    FOX Sports San Diego has launched a search for the next FOX Sports San Diego Girl to join current FSSD Girls Katie and Nathalie.  As fan ambassadors of FOX Sports San Diego, the Girls’ mission is to connect with fans through a common passion for the hometown teams.

The FOX Sports San Diego Girls promote live games on FOX Sports San Diego, participate in community events, and engage with fans through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

HOW:     Interested candidates can go to http://girls.foxsportssandiego.com to submit an application until 11:59pm PST on Wednesday, June 12, 2013. Top candidates will be invited to the FOX Sports San Diego studios for an audition in late June, then fans will then have the opportunity to vote between June 27 and July 8 for who they would like to see join Katie and Nathalie. Finally, the newest FOX Sports San Diego Girl will be introduced at Del Mar Opening Day on Wednesday, July 17.

Check out the video they made here:

Click here to view the embedded video.

So, if you’re young, hot, and outgoing… this job has your name written all over it.

-bp

Little experiment I’m doing. Who is that?

-bp

I remember when Bo made his comeback to baseball. He couldn’t steal bases anymore, he couldn’t run down balls in the outfield like he used to, and his batting average dropped by .020 or so… but man, nobody questioned his cannon from the outfield.

I’ve watched that GIF (GIF/JIF/SHUTUP) a hundred times. It’s amazing.

-bp

[GIF lobbed by Daniel]

OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! 

We did it again… watch if you want, or don’t if you’re sick of my fat face.

-bp

The Chargers have signed left tackle Max Starks, and that meme up top is from Chargers employee Jordan Beane. Bringing the Game of Thrones heat! The @Chargers official account even retweeted it. Love that. This o-line isn’t looking too shabby anymore, is it? Still think they should bring back Mike Goff for depth. I will think that for the next decade or so.

Pale hands. Smell like cabbage.

-bp