Introducing the Worst Sketch Artist in the History of Time

Listen, this is a terrible crime that I’m not trying to make light of, however, if we want this sunuvabitch to be caught, we may want to bring in a new sketch artist. Up top is a screengrab from the U-T article about this jerk. Here is the description:

He was described as a black man, 40 to 45 years old, 5 feet 9 inches to 6 feet 1 inch tall, with short, Afro-style hair and a muscular build. He might have a fresh scratch on his face. He wore blue jeans, a long-sleeved beige polo shirt with blue and yellow stripes, and a blue baseball cap with a white bill and white logo. He is an English speaker who knows some Spanish, police said.

So, inspired by the asterisk used in the U-T article, I’ve added a few more asterisks of my own to ensure we catch this guy.

Go get him, lobsters.


[lobbed by Mac]

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5 Responses to Introducing the Worst Sketch Artist in the History of Time

  1. Caster says:

    Although, in a surprising flash of competence, the artist DID make the suspect look like he “knows some Spanish.”

  2. Caster says:

    questions one might’ve overheard at the police station…
    “wait… who told you it was a flat golf cap?” possible response: “all she’d said was ‘hat’, when i was at the top. I STARTED AT THE TOP.”
    “wait… why did you add that Little Richard mustache?” possible response: “well, if i remove it… he’ll look even whiter.”
    “did you draw this BEFORE the victim gave you the description?” possible response: [sad face]

  3. Pingback: Chad Johnson’s Sex Tape Is Real, Brandon Spikes Left Santa Some Blow & Worst Police Sketch Artist Ever | BustedCoverage – Sports Gossip | Drunk Athletes | Hot Cheerleaders | Football News

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