Beauty Queen Mouths Off… Is Promptly Ordered to Pay $5 MIL For Defamation

Miss Pennsylvania USA Sheena Monnin

If you haven’t read about the beauty queen who claimed the Miss USA contest was rigged click here.

I’m not sure who co-signed the loan on this beauty queen’s mouth… but they’re probably second-guessing that support now.

You see, what you said right there…  that’s illegal.  It’s called defamation.  Surprised you didn’t learn about it in any of your Master’s Psychology coursework.  Regardless, you now owe the pageant folks $5 million.”  -Arbitrator

Here’s the thing…. median household income in the U.S. is approx $50k.   I’m not saying Sheena Monnin is part of the median, she’s probably not… she’s a beauty queen after all, but if this fine was leveled on one of us average [looking] folks, assuming we paid every single cent we earned, before taxes, starting now… the fine would be cleared in year 2113, approx 100 years from now.   You thought the year 2015 looked cool in Back to the Future 2… wait’ll ya see 2113.  “Got any plans for the rest of your life, Sheena?”  “Ugh.  Yeah, probably just paying this fine.”  Don’t forget about enjoying the name Sheena.  Sheena, Tiger Goddess of Western PA.   Grrrrr.  Oh yeah, I’d tune in.  Heck, I’d be in Starbucks three times a day… “Sheena….Vanilla Chai Latte.  Sheena.

Back to the point…there’s a lesson here.  Beauty queens can say any [dumb] thing they want to their 50 yr old millionaire boyfriend… but don’t try pulling that sh*t on Beauty Pageant Inc.   Also… “Blondes have more fun…not paying $5mil fines.  And so does everyone else.  Watch your mouth.”  This gal isn’t going to have enough money to rent Back to the Future 2 (so she can understand my reference).  I suppose she can just borrow it from her boyfriend’s VHS collection.

-caster

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8 Responses to Beauty Queen Mouths Off… Is Promptly Ordered to Pay $5 MIL For Defamation

  1. jonesy says:

    Is she missing her left nippie? I mean, at least the start of the areola should be there right?

    What’s airbrushing again?

    Caster, i read nothing of your text……i tried, but the boobs …tractor beam, sucked me right in.

  2. Cohner says:

    Jonesy has gone all CSI on us with his anatomy analysis. Oh, and great “Dumb and Dumber” reference.

  3. Casper says:

    I’m sure she’ll pay The Donald around the same time he gets his “Birther” paperwork

  4. Cree-dub says:

    The physics of the caboose in that picture gave me a giant math erection, and that got me to thinking….

    Using Philadelphia as a baseline, the average annual pay is $55,242.00 [1]. We’ll give those boobs the benefit of the doubt and round up to $60,000 even.

    PA state tax is 3.07% on every dollar [2], so her state tax bill is $1,842, leaving $58,158 to be taxed at the federal level of 25% [3]. Assuming no major deductions (I’m going to guess she doesn’t own a home.), her remaining income is $43,618.50, or $3,634.88 a month.

    2012 cost of living in Philadelphia is 101.6, very near the U.S. average of 100 [4]. We’ll pick a nice even number of $2,000 for monthly expenses (rent, groceries, gas, etc…). So her disposable income (DI) is $3,634.88 – $2,000 = $1,634.88. If I’ve learned one thing from watching Toddlers & Tiaras, it’s that pageants are expensive, so I’ll allocate $500 a month on “upkeep” and entry fees, leaving $1,134.88 in true DI.

    Now the good math starts….

    I’m going to guess she doesn’t have $5M sitting around to pay off the fine now, so she’d have to finance some, if not all of it. Using the fed prime rate of 3.25% [5], and assuming she spends her entire $1,134.88 towards paying off the fine, it would take her….well…..she wouldn’t even be close to paying down the monthly interest accumulated on the principal.

    If she wanted to be debt free in 50 years, she would have to pay $16,871.09 a month. [6]

    That being said, she should totally call me, we can work something out.

    [1] http://www.cityrating.com/cost-of-living/pennsylvania/philadelphia.html#.UNMkUHeHnFx
    [2] http://swz.salary.com/salarywizard/layouthtmls/swzl_statetaxrate_pa.html
    [3] http://taxes.about.com/od/Federal-Income-Taxes/qt/Tax-Rates-For-The-2012-Tax-Year.htm
    [4] http://www.city-data.com/county/Philadelphia_County-PA.html
    [5] http://www.bloomberg.com/markets/rates-bonds/government-bonds/us
    [6] http://www.thecalculatorsite.com/finance/calculators/credit-card-payment-calculators.php

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