Did This Good Samaritan Pull a Lloyd Christmas?

Kenneth Allen returned nearly $13,000 he found on a trash can.

Yahoo! – When Kenneth Allen picked up the paper bag sitting atop a trash can outside a Tennessee convenience store, he found two things: A bottle of cologne and nearly $13,000 in cash.

“It never crossed my mind to take it, because that’s not the right thing to do,” Allen told local affiliate Fox4KC about the $12,764.73 in cash.

Allen was at the Peachers Mill Road convenience store on Saturday afternoon with his wife, Kristy, when they spotted the bag. The Leaf Chronicle adds that the couple, who had stopped by to pick up a cream soda, quickly turned the money over to the Clarksville Police Department, which has since returned it to its rightful owner.

“I knew I had to return it,” Allen said. “Someone might have needed that for something really important.”

Surveillance video from the convenience store shows the man stopping outside the store to unwrap an ice cream sandwich before leaving the bag of money behind on top of the trash can.

The owner of the money is a 51-year-old man who reportedly left the money behind after recently being released from the hospital after experiencing an adverse reaction to prescription medication. Though the police have not released the man’s name, they say he has since contacted Allen to thank him.

“When he called, I asked, ‘Dude, why did you have so much money?” Allen told ABC News. “He didn’t really explain that, but he did say he was very grateful to have it back, and was glad we were the ones who found it.”

Allen, who recently retired from the military and plans to start teaching math at a nearby high school next fall, says he’s glad things worked out the way they did.

“If anyone else had found this money, they’d have thrown one heck of a party,” he said. “We were meant to find it.”

This story is riveting. I freaking love it. Let’s just accept that he didn’t even think about keeping the $13k. Accept that’s he better than all of us. I’d like to think I would’ve done what he did… I do. But even if I did turn the money over to authorities… I 100% would have thought about keeping it.

On to what really intrigues me…. the seventy-three cents. That means the ice cream bar was $1.27 right? $2.27? Let’s use that. So this cat was cruising around with $12,767 in cash in a paper bag. Even if he didn’t crush the ice cream bar by the trashcan before he left the money… something ain’t right here. Something’s is wrong with this man. He’s either mentally ill or he’s a multi-billionaire. $13k is like 13 cents if you’re a multi-billionaire…a very forgettable amount of money. I remember cruising out of the casinos in Vegas with about $1,500 cash in my pocket. You’d have thought I was carrying the crown jewels. Head on a swivel. No expression on my face. I looked at every person I saw… sizing ‘em up on how I’d take ‘em down if they came at me. Adrenaline pumping hard. This mini-mart guy though… just casually ‘forgets’ $13k? I don’t think so.

There’s a third option here… this was a drop. That’s what went down, folks. This Kenneth Allen good Samaritan guy just Lloyd Christmas’d the hell outta somebody. Was it a kidnapping? Was it for the mob? You tell me. I bet he just slid in out of nowhere and swiped up that briefcase, right before somebody could pick it up. Only difference is that he ran to the police station instead of right off the jet way in pursuit of Mary.

Oh, and if you’re like me… not knowing the type of cologne in that bag is eating you up on the inside. My money’s on…

-bp

 

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7 Responses to Did This Good Samaritan Pull a Lloyd Christmas?

  1. jonesy says:

    What’s the guy’s last name? Dickey, Duckey, Docky…..maybe its on the bag….DairyQueen….I was way off

  2. Mac says:

    How do you reference Dumb and Dumber and NOT choose Aspen Cologne, NO BRAINER
    http://www.perfumezilla.com/images_product/aspen-cologne-coty-cologne-spray-men569306.jpg

  3. greanthumb says:

    Dude… 1,500 can’t be THAT much for a baller like yourself…
    How bout w just accept the fact that the 13k was for 3 pounds of Cali kush.

    • bp says:

      maaaaaaaaaan……..

      • jonesy says:

        recently released from the hospital for an adverse reaction to prescription meds????

        Im pretty sure that translates to “overdose” and the 13k was for some more hydros…….but i could be way off and maybe it was a charitable donation.

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