Somebody Find These Four Gun Toting San Diego Thieves

CLAIREMONT MESA — Four men armed with handguns tied up a female employee and robbed a cell phone store on Balboa Avenue just east of Genesee Avenue in Clairemont Mesa Saturday night, authorities said.

Their faces covered with bandanas, the suspects entered the Boost Mobile Store shortly after 8 p.m., said San Diego Police officer David Stafford. They forced the woman to the ground, tied her up and filled a bag with cell phones, he said.

The suspects also stole the employee’s grayish/blue four-door 2004 Honda Accord, Stafford said. The Oklahoma license plate number is 406DLE. Robbery division is investigating.

Serious with this story? This story is an onion. Layers of ridiculous. I don’t even know where to start. I hate these a.hole gunmen. You robbed a cell phone store? Good call. High return on your robvestment. Which store’d you hit? Boost freaking Mobile. Fitting. The most ghetto of all the cell phone stores. All the blackberrys and flip phones you can handle. One female employee, and FOUR of you jerks went in with guns to rob her store? Bush. What’s the point of tying her up anyway? If there’s four of you… maybe three of you could rob the place while the other just stands there and says, “don’t move“? Pretty sure that’d work. She works at a Boost Mobile, you think she’s gonna try to play the part of a the hero here? Then, in the biggest dick move of all… they jack her ’04 Accord?

Point of interest to me: I love that they describe the car as “grayish/blue”. This wasn’t their getaway car or something where you could understand this convo. Cops: “Ma’am, what color was the getaway car that you’d never seen prior to today?” Victim: “I think it was a grayish/blue.” I could understand that. This, however, I have trouble understanding… for the police report: “Ma’am what color is your car?” Victim: “I think it is grayish/blue.”

Poor girl is so shook up she can’t even remember the color of her own car. She comes here from Oklahoma just trying to find her way out in sunny San Diego… holding down a job at the local cell phone store until things pan out. Next thing you know she’s tied up in a corner with four guns in face and her car is on it’s way to TJ. That’s a rough day. If anybody knows this chick… stop what you’re doing… and go give her a hug.

Pro tip for the San Diego robbery division: Keep an eye out for photos like this on craigslist.

-bp

[lobbed by Mac]

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6 Responses to Somebody Find These Four Gun Toting San Diego Thieves

  1. Dou says:

    Take it easy, BP. These dudes were textbook and efficient. Being armed is associated with a 40% increase in haul. Similarly, each additional robber on a heist is associated with a 35% increase in profit taking, although there is a law of diminishing returns here. Finally, if you’re going to jack a car, why not take the most frequently sold used car in America? If Clerks and Oceans 11 had a baby, it’d be these dudes.

    • bp says:

      clap…. clap…. clap…

      i love when you comment. quite a mix of intelligence and snark.

      • Dou says:

        Thanks – I’d like to think of myself as the Asian love child of Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless.

        I know you just vomited. What does it look like? Like a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger? Ruh roh Roschach …

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