How Does Kate Upton Match Up to Past Carl’s Jr. Girls?

So Kate Upton is in the latest Carl’s Jr. commercial. After it was lobbed up by everyone, I figured it’s time I gave my two cents, and offer up a comparison to the others. Here it is.

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This will come as a surprise, but I’m not happy about this. Obviously, I love Kate Upton¬†and she’s smoking hot in this commercial. Smoking. I do not, however, love Carl’s Jr. I don’t like their food. Their ad campaigns have always pissed me off. When they hired the, “if it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face” guy… I started hating them. All that said to me was, “our food is disgustedly messy, but we think you, the consumers, are so stupid…we’re gonna make you believe we did that on purpose.” Well, then they started putting chicks in their commercials. I still hated them. They were mostly just tramps. You’re better than this Kate, you’re not a tramp. I mean, look at the company you’re joining… you’re the hottest thing since sliced bread and now people are gonna be comparing you to the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian? It feels gross just to say that. If you lobsters have forgotten the previous Carl’s Jr. girls. Here they are:

Paris Hilton? No thanks.

Kim Kardashian? Don’t get me started.

Padma Lakshmi? Decent, but not interested.

Miss Turkey? Not a chance.

Audrina Patridge? Holy crap, she’s an exception. Yes, please. Still no Kate though.

Mechical bull chick? Meh. Was over her the second that commercial started.

So, as you can see… Kate Upton is clearly a head above the rest which is why I think she’s better than this. In the meantime, I’ll just shut up and watch the commercial over and over again.

Oh, a nice little bonus for making it to the bottom… the behind the scenes footage of the Carl’s Jr. commercial.

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I repeat… smoking hot.


[lobbed by Cohn, Bull Ben, @homersapien619, and about 7 others that I forget]

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5 Responses to How Does Kate Upton Match Up to Past Carl’s Jr. Girls?

  1. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember Paris Ho-lton & Kim Humphries having Carl’s Jr commercials.

  2. Bull Benn says:

    I don’t think any of those chicas have ever actually eaten a petty melt. And you know what? Their bodies and our eyes thank them for it.

  3. Dou says:

    For real, BP? How could you forget Padma Lakshmi? Not only was she a model, but she also speaks like she has a brain, has written two cook books, hosts the number one food show and gave up being a vegetarian because she loves burgers. Oh yeah, and her husband at the time was put on the Iranian government’s hit-list for going Dan Brown on the Koran. You really can’t get more All-American than that.

  4. Dou says:

    Sorry, rather, how could you just call Padma “decent”?

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