MSN – It was a mild night last week, when Artie Hughes and his wife took to the deck of their Long Island home to enjoy the nice weather. Then someone crapped all over their nice time. Literally, because a plane taking off from nearby JFK airport had dropped a load of excrement from a lavatory. Hughes said “some black liquid” was dripping off his wife’s face, and that he saw “quarter-sized, nickel-sized, dime-sized drops all over my deck, my barbecue, my table.” Hughes thought the sludge was hydraulic fluid, but a cop who made inquiries told them “some lavatory excrement had leaked out.”
If there’s one thing I hate… it’s when people sue others for trivial, idiotic reasons. You know, like the time a guy sued the cable company for making his wife fat. It’s a giant waste of everybody’s time and money and it’s usually rooted in laziness and greed. Lawsuits should be the last case scenario of any given situation. However, if there’s one thing I hate more than trivial lawsuits… it’s hanging out on my patio with my girl and a Corona, only to get sh*t on by an airplane. Taking crop-dusting to a whole new level. You kidding me with this? Oh, ya had a leak? That’s too bad, because, ya see… you leaked feces all over my wife’s face. That’s a no-no. I’d sue this airline so fast it’d make your head spin. $10 million. Sounds about right. Pick up your phone, Jackie Chiles…we got some work to do.
[lobbed by The King]