The Greatest Voicemail That Nobody Ever Heard

Confession time: I was dead wrong. 8 months ago I posted a voicemail on LobShots that a friend gave me. He works at a staffing agency and this voicemail was waiting in his inbox. In this post: The Best Voicemail in History: For Sure Hire, I said “Mark my words, LobShots put this audio out to the world wide interweb… and many will try to claim it as their own… they are liars. This is pure internet gold…and we touched it first.” So much for all that ‘mark my words‘ talk… it never took off like I thought it would. It baffles me. Sure, it has over 17,500 hits on youtube, but honestly, it should have over 17 million hits. So, since you lobsters have probably grown about 10 times in size the last 8 months, I figured I’d give it another try. I swear I know funny… and this is funny.

YouTube Preview Image

A few highlights:

Look, I’m the best of the best, I’m about to come into BIG money, I mean HUGE...”

I’m a genius… uh… People who study people like me think I might be one of the smartest people in the country.”

I have an education that would blow your arm off if you look at the resume, but my computer’s down…

I don’t look sick. Young women love me. And according to them, I’m hysterical and the smartest man they ever met…and I look good… that’s a problem.

I have this cat’s real number… I think I might call him up for an interview. I feel like it’s my duty to do so…assuming he’s still alive. As for the Costanza picture up top? That’s who this guy is to me: George. Tell me you can’t see this guy organizing the Penske File.

-bp

This entry was posted in Entertainment, News and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Greatest Voicemail That Nobody Ever Heard

  1. Scott says:

    Holy FRICK this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. This guys is such a beauty. My brother stumbled upon this clip somehow and we thought it would blow up online as well. It’s been awhile so I just now googled, “resume blow your arms off” and am pleasantly surprised to not only find the clip but the story of the source. My buddies and I now frequently use many catch phrases from this beauty in our daily vernacular and chop busting.

    The internet is so awesome. Almost as awesome as this dude’s resume.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>