So, you read about the Utah high school that rejected the mascot name “Cougars” for fear “it could be seen as offensive to older women.” I noted that if we stand for this… there’s a ton of animals we need to put on watch. So, here goes…
ANIMAL MASCOTS THAT MUST BE BANNED & THOSE THEY WILL OFFEND:
Honey Badgers – People who don’t give a sh*t.
Beavers – Half the world’s population.
Whales – Fat female beach-goers
Rats – Liars.
Foxes – Hot chicks
Walrus – Khloe Kardashian
Giraffe – Malcolm Floyd
Clams – Sweaty hands people
Shrimp – Little people
Butterflies – The French
Frogs – Also the French
Pink Flamingos – The French again.
Anteaters – The Uncircumcised
Dogs – Friends everywhere.
Crabs – You know.
Bald Eagle – Bald guys…or girls.
Llamas – Pau Gasol
Weasels – Sneaky people.
Wolves – Team Jacob.
Cheetahs: Adulterers in Boston
If you don’t understand that last one… just give a few to resonate, it’ll come to you. I’m sure we missed some… feel free to share.
[thanks to caster, mac, body and king for their contributions]