Cue the Delonte Slow-Clap Now

Guest post by Body. He was real passionate about Delonte… so I let him run with it. -bp


The Dallas Mavericks will be joining basketball enthusiast and President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama in the White House today as an award for winning the 2011 NBA Championship.  Dirk Nowitzki displayed one of the most memorable individual performances in my lifetime during that run, as he put his entire team, Mark Cuban, Dallas fan, and LeBron haters all on his back and said “I got this”.  Check out this shirt.  So awesome and aimed directly at The Chosen One himself: (Hey LeBron! How’s My Dirk Taste.)

It was truly an incredible run, and a trip to the White House to meet the president is very well deserved for Dirk.

One person who definitely will not be in attendance today at the White House is current backup Dallas point guard, Delonte West.  Delonte was not a member of the Dallas Mavericks last year during their championship run.  He was actually a member of the Boston Celtics, which I had to Google as most people do not know Delonte so much from his mediocre basketball career, but more from his antics off the court. You may remember him going “Desperado” back in 2009 when he was pulled over late night while riding his 3-wheeled Can-AM Spyder motorcycle, carrying an arsenal of weaponry concealed in a guitar case including a shotgun slung over his back, as well as various other handguns strapped all over his body. You cannot make this stuff up.  See full story here.

You may also remember back in 2010 when Delonte may have single-handily led to the demise of the Cleveland Cavaliers title contention and LeBron out of Cleveland when rumors broke of his alleged affair with LeBron James mother, Gloria James.  I remember watching LeBron absolutely dominate the first series of that playoff run.  Seemed as if he was a man on a mission and nothing was going to hold him back from capturing his first title.  Well, that was until he found out his own teammate was *allegedly* having relations with his mother.  How do you respond to that?  “Hey Delonte.  Thanks, jerk….” followed by a complete sh*tting-of-the-bed.  Done and done.

So Delonte is back in the news again this morning, and again it is not for his accomplishments on the basketball court.  He has confirmed that he will not be in attendance at the White House today.  As quoted by Dwain Price of the Fort-Worth Star-Telegram, “I’m banned from going to the White House, so I’m not going to make it…  I live in D.C. It’s going to be a shame the president isn’t going to get a chance to meet me. I’m the president of my house.” 

It’s going to be a shame the president isn’t going to get a chance to meet me!?  Come on, Delonte.  Seriously?  Do you know how much safer everyone at the White House feels knowing you are not going to be there?  I can just see Obama saying, “Hey Michelle, would you mind taking the girls and going anywhere else today please?  We have a guest coming and I would feel a lot better with you not here.  You know LeBron right?  Yea, well this gentleman had sex with his mother while on the same team, so...”  And how uncomfortable would the White House staff be when the Mavericks are getting the tour and Delonte goes and plops himself on a piano and starts jamming off some catchy little number?  Vice President Biden looks around the room and says something like, “Hey, he’s pretty good.

Delonte – you are a thug with a C- game at best.  You are far more entertaining off the court than on, although I could seriously do without both.  Go tighten up that sic REDZ tat, bro.








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One Response to Cue the Delonte Slow-Clap Now

  1. bp says:

    “Hey Michelle, would you mind taking the girls and going anywhere else today please?” haha. gold.

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