The Woman of Your Nightmares

ABC News – Maria Jose Cristerna, a Mexican woman claiming to be a vampire, has had her body –including implanted metal horns and pointy teeth — immortalized in wax.

Ripley’s, which runs  Believe It or Not museums around the world, asked Cristerna, a former attorney, to be cast in wax so a replica of her could be put on display. Cristerna will receive the title of Most Unusual Woman in the World, according to Edward Meyer, Ripley’s vice president of exhibits and archives.

Meyer, who told ABC News that his real title is “guy in charge of finding the weird” said that all the Ripley’s museums had been put on alert to look for the most unusual woman to complement their recently chosen Most Unusual Man in the World. Their search led them to Cristerna, whose intricate tattoos, metal  skull implants and piercings throughout her body have gained her notoriety in Latin and South America.

Cristerna flew to Florida, where a team of five sculptors wrapped her in blue silicone one extremity at a time. The process took 15 hours, Meyer said. Most work-intensive were Cristerna’s head and face, which are irregularly shaped, he said.

“She had some trouble getting out of the face [wrap] because of her horns, implants  and stretched-out ears,” Meyer said. “The silicone was sticking like it’s supposed to, but her body is not smooth so it didn’t come off. There was some element of danger and scariness there.” Further complicating matters was the  language barrier; Cristerna  speaks no English, he said.

The world’s most famous vampire woman will now be seen in books, museums  and promotional materials around the world and into eternity –  or at least as long as Ripley’s stays around.

Really Ripley’s? Most Unusual Woman in the World? How ’bout Most Psychotic Satanic Crazy Bitch in the World? Good God. I’m gonna have nightmares for months. How pissed do you think she was when her boyfriend Caius Veiovis  got arrested a few weeks ago?

Two peas in a pod.

-bp

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