The Italian Government is Batshit Crazy

A view of a damaged house in the village of Castelnuovo, central Italy, following a strong earthquake, Monday, April 6, 2009. A powerful earthquake in mountainous central Italy knocked down whole blocks of buildings as residents slept, killing more than 300 people in the country's deadliest quake in nearly three decades, officials said. Tens of thousands were homeless and 1,500 were injured. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

The always reliable and non-biased news source Fox News reported today that the Italian Government is suing the country’s top seismologist for not predicting the 2009 earthquake that killed 308 people. Read the whole story here.  What is the charge you ask? Just a little manslaughter. I tripled checked to make sure I wasn’t accidentally reading the Onion and checked my calendar to make sure it wasn’t April Fool’s Day..but this, my friends, is legit.  I honestly sat in front of my computer and stared for like 40 minutes, no clue on where to take this, it’s just too good. This is like suing a weather man for not predicting the gust of wind that knocked over your life size cut-out of Vin Diesel , or suing the Ice Cream man for giving you brain freeze or suing Khalil Greene for being sad and quitting baseball.  I love it, I am gonna start suing the SH*T out of everyone.  Seems to be the theme of the day.  If the Italian government wins this case, it is freakin on… you could sue anyone and everyone for not predicting the future. I am gonna sue this guy for incorrectly predicting the future, because of him I spent my whole day drinking Ketel on the rocks cause I didn’t want to be sober when all the people around me got raptured up, leaving me sitting alone waiting for impending torture and death.  So, let’s hear it for Italy who is attempting to up the ante on the whole world. Just calling out a bunch of nerds for not being able to predict things that are impossible to predict. 10-1 says that someone in the Italian Government lost their favorite Grandma in that quake.

Mac

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