Kobe Bryant buys a $100,000 Bundle of Sticks

Reuters/Lucy Nicholson

Dammit Kobe. What the hell is going on here? The Lakers stop their 5 game skid by beating the Western Division leading San Antonio Spurs, Steve Blake has the chicken pox, Lamar Odom is filming a show with Miss Piggy, and Andrew Bynum is hurt… again…after hyperextending his knee. Yet, all anybody can talk about is you getting fined $100k for calling the referee a F’ing F… here’s the clip, watch it while you can because I’m sure David Stern will sue YouTube if they don’t yank it any second now.

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“What I said last night should not be taken literally,” Bryant said in a statement. “My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone.” Hey Kobe…thanks for clarifying, you dickbag. That should be taken literally. You, Kobe, are literally a giant bag of dicks. There’s no denying that I love the Lakers and I love you, The Black Mamba, on the court…but off the court? I don’t think you’re really equipped to call anybody that… or maybe you are.

Really? What were you thinking? Not last night… that was heat of the moment, it was dumb, but I get it… I mean with this outfit… Hey! Kobe! Look at me when I’m talking to you!

That’s better. Now get out there and focus on a Three Peat and stop saying mean things to referees.

-bp

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