Hey internet smut peddlers, I got an idea… back the eff up off my girl Kate Upton. Yes, my girl. Good grief. This is old news. Been all over the world wide interweb…use it. We’re getting married. She proposed to me. Kanye, sit your ass down. You’ve got nothing on me. Five minutes alone with your boy BP and you’ll need your face rewired again. I thought everyone had slowed down with their fantasy crushes on Kate since we got engaged, but nope. Freaks are coming out of the woodwork now. Kate dropped the Dougie on the world at a Clippers game in Staples Center this weekend…and people won’t shut the hell up about it. Why does this surprise anyone? She’s badass and smoking hot…of course she’s got moves. This girl, just when you thought you couldn’t love her anymore…the Dougie happened.
Watch it, enjoy it, drool over it, but keep your paws off, okay? After watching this about forty times, I took my focus off of Kate and noticed all the clowns in the stands around her. What the hell is wrong with them? How are they not fixated on her and nothing else? Amateur hour up in Staples. I don’t care if Blake Griffin is handing out his $32,000 Rookie Card or jumping over Kias stacked ten high… if you’re at a Clipper game and Kate Upton is in the crowd…you watch Kate Upton. End of story.