Nets land Deron Williams

(MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images)

Well, well, well… looks like a certain Russian mastermind had something up his sleeve all along. ESPN is reporting that the New Jersey Nets just traded for the All Star, Deron Williams, details here. I can’t even begin to describe how jealous I am of Mikhail Prokhorov. He is everything that is cool about being a rich dude. Here’s how everything went down with Carmelo Anthony and now, Deron Williams.

I seriously think he is a walking, talking, perfect combination of Teddy KGB and Mikey from Rounders. He takes what is badass in both of them, and rolls it up into one package and looks at it in the mirror every day. As soon as the Knicks got in the way with ‘Melo, he uttered this classic in his own Teddy KGB voice, “Meester sahn ahv a beech, let’s play some cahrds“. What you can’t see behind him on the bookcase? These “Don’t Touch” Oreos. After he drove up the price for ‘Melo, he called up the Utah Jazz and started workin’ the deal he really wanted. Deron Williams. Worst hair in the NBA. But, the dude is also a superstar, and Prokhorov would have to give up much less to get him. This is where his Mikey side comes in… still referring to the Knicks and their Carmelo offer…”I want him to think I am pondering a call, but all I’m really thinking about is Vegas and the f**kin’ Mirage.” I love it. Good work, Prokhorov. You impress me. Somebody try to convince me he wasn’t holding an Oreo cookie when he made this trade. I am unconvincable, in the same way that word is undefinable. So, what’s your next move, Mikey KGB?

-bp

“meester sahn av a beech”

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