So, just listened live to the Dan Patrick Show with Charlie Sheen as his guest. This is can’t miss radio, folks. I’m sure they’re will be a podcast out there soon, but since this is realtime… you can go find it yourself later. (update: it’s out there now) Dan started off with some work questions. My quotes are to the best of my memory, not word for word, I’m sure. “So, when are you scheduled to start taping of Two and Half Men?” “Um, well, I believe August of 2014 at this pace.” Right off the bat, Charlie is just letting everyone know he knows he’s been in the news, and he knows everyone knows about his problems with hookers, cocaine, booze and other various drugs. No hiding there. Another question, “How are you going to spend Valentine’s Day?” “Me and my girlfriend who will remain nameless, no need to ruin her life.” Haha. Smarts.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock lately, you know about the UCLA “drink chocolate milk, stay off the crack” pep talk to the baseball team. Turns out he was just there visiting, not some set up inspirational speech, and Charlie had about 30 seconds to think about what to say. He told Dan that there were…”rumors that I’ve had problems with, I don’t know, craaaaack?”… and that, along with carrying a bottle of chocolate milk, led him to drop the now infamous line of “drink chocolate milk, stay off the crack”. When asked about crack a little more, he dropped this gem, “stay away from the crack… unless you can manage it socially…” WHAT?! Really? Really Charlie. Just awful. Dan later asked, “Who’s more valuable… you to CBS or Albert Pujols to the Cardinals?” “Because I’m a humble guy, I’d like to believe that Albert is..” Sheen went on to compare Pujols to DiMaggio, Mantle, Ruth, and Ted Williams. That’s some legit company, Charlie. Guy seems to know his baseball pretty well. Oh, he wants Nick Swisher to interview him too.
Listen, we all know Charlie’s got issues. Dude just parties. He’ll, sadly, probably die partying. Two and a Half Men is one of my favorite TV shows… and in the past few years, if we’ve learned anything about Charlie Sheen, it’s that there is absolutely no acting involved when he’s playing Charlie Harper. None. Just playing himself. Clean yourself up, man… I don’t like life with Two and a Half Men on hiatus. Feel better, Charles. Thanks.